How i wish the time can stop.
I wan lots of money.
All the miseries to end.
Fill my life with laughter, minus the pain.
The agony, noone understands.

Am i dumb or what,
how come no matter what i do,
I never fail to disappoint people around.
It is killing.
Please, all i want is to live,
normally.

I dun want to be super rich,
i just want enough.
I dun need 24 hr supervision, but i need you by my side.
Why cant you hear me?
For no reason, you are miles away from me.
End my life.

What have i done,
to receive all these?
Cant take it any longer, insanity.
DEAD-


i really don't think i can survive the ordeal. my brain is filled with wine names, so much so that i can remember them but i can't make them in order as in which is white wine, red wine, champagne, sparkling wine etc etc. argh.

i am just so dead. grr.

bye to all. pray for me.


Nth special happened.
mundane.
give me strength to live on though, things keep happening.
Can i even live to the age 18?
AHHHH!!
watever, things will work it.
They always do, dun they?
No point being upset n worry bou them rite?
Duno la, kill me pls-


SHUHAN CAN'T SEE LIGHT IN THE DEEP TUNNEL OF F&B.


shit.

i totally have no mood to study when i sit at my study table, hearing my neighbours ' houses full of singing, mahjong, games.........

and when i mean no mood, it means negative 1000000000000....

i am so dead. i have a whole book of econs untouched (i guess it's okay since i can study it quite fast) but... my F&B still left with the horrible WINE part. and my mkting.. omg. omg. omg. now, i hate mkting more than F&B. my mkting still left with that horrible FOUR Ps - product, price, place and promotion. *clutch heart*

it's just too much for my weak heart.

but. once again, look at the bright side of life people. i shall study now... and watch my show "rong zhi tang part 2" at SCV channel 56 later. hold on. what time is the show? 10:15pm? and what time is it now? 9.57pm?

hey! only 18 minutes to study! nah. forget it. book closed.

SEE! that's what i mean by typical pig and lazy idiot. i should just die and stop wasting earth's resources.

now, my checklist isn't movinggggg...... for days? HOW! *clutch heart again*

i am gonna have a heart attack sooner or later.





Happy Chinese New Year people:)

yesterday met eileen, julian and minkai for breakfast! was nice and fun!:)
after that minkai left at 11 plus. me eileen julian continue chatting, hahaha! was a nice long long chat! we were talking about our secondary school life! haha. was real nice remembering thoses days we had! mr yueng (the crazy guy who always ask us to stand outside the class!) hahahaha! mdm jaspal( the qi long zhu/ shi xiong di) hahahaha! Mr Tan( the blur blur guy!) many many more la! hahaha!

We decided to watch movie, on the way up the escalator, we saw jasper jia sin!:) so we asked them to join us in the movie and also met up with alvin rui xiang. hahaha! so together we 7 went to watch Epic! was NOT NICE! hahaha. dun go watch that! the movie is like 1 hour only!

Suppose to meet wei ting and pei jun at 5pm, but both ended up had something on! but it is ok la. hahaha! so we 3 together with eddy continue talking and met joel(ah gong!) haven seen him for a long time! haha. he is still the same!

In the night, went out with parents to get the cny stuffs till 1 plus! hahaha.

-wanyan-



one day, momo and mimi was asked to decorate a card by mama and meme. mama told momo: please decorate a sweet and lovely card. meme told mimi: please decorate a cool and emo card.

momo and mimi, being good girls, decided to follow instructions. so off they went, decorating their fab cards. just a few days before the deadline, momo and mimi decided to chat online.

"hi mimi! how's your card deco doing?"
"hi! mine is great! it looks real cool and emo!"
"eh? i tot it should be sweet and lovely?"
"no lah! cool and emo!"
"no! sweet and lovely!"
"no!"
"no!"

yada yada.

on the day of submission, momo and mimi handed in to their respective lecturers leaders.

momo gotten a D while mimi gotten an A! SEEMS like meme and mama did not coordinate themsleves at all!

end of story.

any events or characters similar to the above story is purely concidental.

i bet only tp students understand what i mean. seriously, i don't wanna get sued.

anyway, my brain is freezing up. i wonder why it always choose some weird time to freeze, esp during exams period. tell me why someone. does it got to do with DNA or blood type?

it's definitely sickening to read notes and reference books which is up to your neck.

i was feeling sick on my way to school today. and i vomitted! omg. can you imagine i actually vomitted on the bus? ew. but hey, i didn't want to ok! luckily mom is with me cause she visiting aunt, so she fished out a TINY plastic bag for me. phew. mommy saved the day.

after reaching tampines interchange, oh my. i flew to the nearest washroom and BAH BAH everything out. after that, i feel absolutely.. cleared? hahaha! i bet my motion sickness is back to torture me. how tragic.

anyway, i love school with jennifer, rena and seow hui. never fails to cheer me up with funny topics. we discussed about our own weirdest habits today. so freaking funny ok! i realised seow hui and i have the same weird habit of hugging bolster. we will remember which is the leg side and which is the head side. and we won't hug it another way round. haha! rena and jennifer were like horrified at how weird both of us are. BUT hey! do you hug your gf or bf at the legs! no right!

haix. back to studies. i hate cny. i really do.

"girl ah, are you attached?"
"how's your studies?"
"why your dad never come?"

yada yada.

please. treat me as though i am transparent please.


omg! i have working! today was a bad day for me):

I am super blur and confused about everything! she just gave a a short brief idea of what i am suppose to do! but she is still a nice person:)

The counter is DAMN HARD to opperate! i dunno why, i just cant get the barcode scan! haha. was weird! and she keep saying faster faster, but dear, i am like new and have not use those nets, visa things before! the opening was alright! the closing was horrible has many things to do, need to count count money, sweep the floor and then close! in simple, it is just so difficult!

Selling things is easier, just open your mouth! hahaha! but comes to counting of $$$, i am just an idiot! hahaha

ok la, just have to work the whole day for 21 feb! but the problem is i am scared i count wrong $$ and dunno who to operate the cashier! hahaha! and i think the people buying things will be like, why are u so slow?!? hahaha, i DUN CARE. LOL'

all the best to me on 21th feb! hahaha!
adventure camp pls come soon!:)

-wanyan-



okays. here's the post of my week.

monday no sch. went out with my poly friends - rena, seowhui, serena, jennifer and weiming and weiming's friends. went to kbox and had lotsss of fun. we had our FIRST time here! as in buying and drinking of alcoholic drinks ourselves lah. haha! we finally are able to buy them ourselves! but we didn't order much weird things, just some spirits which we are taught in F&B class. i finally know how bourbon taste like - shit. it was kinda obvious rena can't really drink as she really got very high. hahaha. so cute.

next is tues. sch sch sch. it was the day of surprises. angels dropping gifts and secret smses to their mortals and it was a blast. of course, i gave my angel her favourite drink and sweet. and a few smses. hahaha. she was someone in my clinque so it was really difficult to purchase her fav stuffs since she's always with me! haha! i even wrote her a poem and send her thru a newly created email. hahas!

wed. the day of love and care and concern for my class. the angels and mortals game was revealed, serena found out that i am her angel!! haha! and serena gave me a little flower. and my angel was lovely ying qiu! (:

and i went out with my dearest boy. he came all the way to tampines in his sch uniform! haha! so cute. he actually waited till i finish my lesson. ahh, i love him so much! and yes, he's very dark now. haha! i know what he gonna say when he see this - SHUT UP!! =P

i just bought him a card and wrote TOUCHING stuffs inside. haha! no lah, it isn't very touching actually, just some funny stuffs. and he gave me a small bear! haha.

we went to catch "Just follow law" and it was confusing yet funny at the same time, esp the little botak indian man. he laughed like crazyyyy and can't stop laughing! for a moment, i tot he might just pass out or sth. hahaha. but personally i feel this movie isn't up to his past movies' standards. but well, perhaps it can be one of the options if you really have got nth to do.....

thurs, no sch. blogging. and gonna study now! BYE!

i love my ah mu!


HEllO:)
my exams finally ended! hee so nice! haha
but i dun think i can get a A for any paper!
anyway! It's OVER!(:

tml i will be working! so soon rite? its called training! haha. at suntec city from 11am-9.30pm! It will be a super long day! i hope the people there will be nice to me! haha.
on the 21th feb i will need to work too!):
did i made the right choice to accept the job? haha. lets see tml:)

-wanyan-



i don't know why i am in school already. reached around 8.20am? madness. so tired and i got goldfish eyes. haha.

my econs lec is at 9am. followed by pom lec. and by econs tut. and by pom tut. omg. boring day i will be having. directly from 9am to 5pm without break? man, this school is hell.

i am alone now. so bored in com lab, not knowing what to do.

i have not yet bought presents for my angel and mortal. and i also have not recieve any care and concern from my angel! haha! what's my angel doing... and who is my angel anyway?

i did show some concern for my mortal, perhaps doing sth later for my mortal in secret too. haha. but can't list the details just in case my mortal reads it.

rena has already recieved a secret msg from her angel! oh man. how fast.

shall post more when i reach home tonight about the clinque outing i got yesterday with my poly friends with pictures! stay tuned (:

back to my lecturessss and tutorialsss.


They appear that they are ok with me entering into poly. It is only on the surface. In the inside they are laughing at my stupidity. Rubbish!! I shouldnt have been soooooo dumb to listen to them n enter into jc. Wasted 1 bloody yr of my life. Its my life! BLOODY. I dun nid them to make choices for me. I dun wan to listen to their crap. ADULTS, they ruin my life. MY life..Ya, i screwed up my life. I did not perform like wat they expected me to. I failed to b promoted. I brought disgrace to the family. I disappointed u ppl. Ya! BUT, do u ppl noe how i really feel? U tink i really like things to end up this way? Shit. If i can, i would have made my own choice last yr. DAMN* family. Give me a break. I hate u ppl. Dun tell me, u ppl are concern. Shut your crap. You ppl only wan face, so that when other ppl ask u can show off. Thanks for that concern. I dun nid it. Enough. You all nv care wat i really wan n tink. Hais-

Y had tings end up tis way=( i dun wan tings to end up tis way. i too wan things to go smoothly. I too wan to complete my studies without any cock ups like this.

Thanks, for allowing me to see the cruelty in life. The cruelty of reality. I dun wan any more obstacles. I will work xtra hard. Family, take that. Mark my words, i will make sure you ppl regret. i WILL work hard. I will make sure u all hang ur heads down. I DUN CARE. i dun nid family members to look down on me. Now when i nid xtra comfort, u all gave me these shit. So be it la.
FULL STOP. End all the pain.


i studied a chpt of POM and it is so freaking boring. it is like you know what's there, yet you can't really remember the details, and deep down in your heart you know those details are boring because you ONCE remembered them for mid sem test! i really hate studying the same thing over again. the good thing is, you really can score well if you ignore the boredom and strive on.

and i realised a rule. in order to hate a ringtone, all you got to do is to set it as your alarm ringtone (:

i was basically freaked out when i heard my alarm ringtone played on the bus. you know that feeling whereby your hairs stand straight up and you feel like shaking your head and say "no mommy, 5 more mins pls."

randomness kills time and now, lesser and lesser time for studies.

i really do not know how to study for F&B. those french wines. i really can't bear to see the notes, let alone memorise them. i don't want to fall into the "The Nerd of the Nerds" catergory pls.

i can't wait. i can't wait for "war day" (it's a private joke) so that i could see my boy and hope that by seeing him would make me feel better. please chase away the exams blues for me!

i love him! (:





Finished the show tokyo juliet. AWWWW` now i wan to b a apparel designer. I wan to b able to design clothes n get to admire my art on the models. AHHHH` how nice. BUT den, will i have enough of the creative juice? HAHA, i doubt so la.

Too many choices to make. Troubled- tis time i DUN wan to make any mistake!! ENOUGH, I have wasted enough of my time=(

Went back to innova yesterdae? Yup, had the funfair. *Thumbs up. 12J, u all rock la!! Saw my form teacher. LOL` she said i so gd, come back to visit n support them. My pe teacher still remember. Wahas.. Those endless rounds round that stupid track...YUCK!! Went to eat dinner with them=)) 12j, u all are the best la. They suggested to meet before reunion dinner. To have our own cls reunion steamboat session. Beams* how sweet. Will b there. Hehs..


i realised i have been eating rubbish for 17 years of my life. shall elaborate later in my post..



i am feeling so down!
today maths paper was like BAD!):
no A for sure, i wonder if there is a B? haha.
let me just pray hard that there will be!

BUT! i gt an A+ for chemistry:)
haha. hope the paper on wednesday will be fine!
dun wish the paper to be like today! if not, a SURE DIE!
hahaha!

gonna prepare for bio paper, which is the most freaking irritating subject i ever took! haha
jia you le ppl!:) all the best for your coming papers:)

-wanyan-



no school today. glad like maddness seriously.

woke up early to study for my law. and no, i can't concentrate. now that all my projects are done, i feel so much like slacking and holidaying even tho i know it isn't holidays yet.

save me.

nevertheless, i love xian xian. he never fails to cheer me up with little kisses and hugs. tho he never understand me, and vice versa, i still love him alot. seeing him simply brighten up my sad gloomy day full of notes and tutorials. if i am born like perhaps 16 years later, i really will marry him ok! haha! jk lah.

still left with a horrible thick notes of law concepts. i love law. i hate law.

do read up paulina's blog at http://faith-paulina.blogspot.com. it is really so so freaking similar to my mood now. so similar that it freaks me out to read her blog because it is exactly the feeling i am going thru now.

it really is hard to study when you know what is waiting for you.

anyway. time to study.

i miss the days. do you?


i got an ulcer in my mouth so i can't speak well, that's why i screwed up my jap role play.


haha! at last i can blog!:)

this week is study week! but i have been slacking at home, haha. and tml i am having a paper! hope i do well! haha. but seems impossible! haha! lets see on the 14th of march!

oh yah! i am having a task!

I am looking for volunteers! for an event for Halogen Foundation-[Wildlife Asia Youth Event]-13 to 16 Mar 07- Volunteers needed! contact me if u are interested(:
It will be a good experience! You don't have to be a ngee ann student! try to go k? it will be FUN! haha

-wanyan-



normal day. woke up early and bah bah bah. as usual lah.

my class decided to play a game called "Angel and Mortal". everyone will draw a name in my class, which would be the "mortal". so if i draw XXX, i am XXX's angel and XXX is my mortal. i am supposed to secretly take care of XXX, giving XXX little notes and presents etc. this will continue from today till valentines' day whereby the angel would be disclosed on that day and the "mortal" would have to give the "angel" a present as a token of appreciation. so fun. my mortal is... of course, i can't say! what if my mortal reads it my blog! hahaha! i wonder who is my Angel...

shall use pictures to take over my day..


a lil picture with some of my class girls..


a strawberry pocky a day, keeps the boredom away (:



cheeky weiming decided to take a picture of us being extremely unglam on our way home. omgg. haha! the one sleeping at the end is yours truly, ME! haha! i look like a ghost. and next to me is lil seow hui, who look like a ghost too! and next to seow hui is yan ning and of course, the half face monster is mr weiming!

tmr is jap role play day! omggg. i hate it! i still haven rmb that idiotic line of mine! SHIT.


i am the stupidest girl ever.

woke up late today. rushed to wlds interchange and took 168 instead. it was said to be faster - but only to those who know when to alight to change bus to tp.

sad to say, yours truly is the dumbest singaporean ever, not knowing when to alight to change bus to tp. and surprisingly, this problem did not occur to be when i board 168. i happily think that i could reach sch to attend econs tutorial on time, not knowing i have landed myself in deep shit. i only started to panic when i reach tampines area, trying my best to fish out someone who look like tp student in 168 so i could follow that person.

but sad to say AGAIN, tp students don't print "i am tp student" on their foreheads. i couldn't differentiate who is a student and who is not. so i just alight at any idiotic and ulu stop and walk my way to tampines interchange.

and what makes me so idiotic is that, when i reach tampines interchange, i saw 969 happily entered the interchange.

moral of the story: do not change the bus unnecessarily.

and bingo. i was late for around 15 mins for a TUTORIAL. omg.

how daring can i be to be late for a tutorial.

anyway, ended sch at 7 plus because of my jap meeting. so screwed. my script, my way of speaking, i can't simply tune it to japanese tone! there's a horrible long line for me which says:

Ah gomen! Demo houtou ni omoshiroi desu ne. Ja, kono hoka ni nanno shukan ga arimasu ka?

ahh! it is almost 99.999999999999999% impossible for me to memorise it. but no problem, i shall use that 0.111111111111111% to try.

coming up next, pictures! no. is picture.




all thanks to some powers above or below, my group finally completed F&B. barely tho. the deadline is today 12pm. but due to some unforeseen circumstances, we handed in at 1pm, which is like an hour late. this clearly send a message to our tired minds - marks would be deducted, ALOT.


The letter came, i am registered as a relief teacher with MOE. Can either wait for schs to call, or call them to ask for place. BLAH-

My frens from 12j asked me to go back to innova for the funfair, to go there support n join them=/ Should i? I mean, its like, so long nv meet as a cls la. See le, oso paiseh. Den what if ppl start asking me, eh? where have u been? Wat have u been doing? Why quit sch? BOO` i dun like having to answer those qns. BUT, tab n zj keep ensuring me that they will acc me through, n that the whole cls is expecting to see me back. AHHHH`

I tink i am obsessed with fantasy. AHHH~

Currently obsessed with:
- hana kimi dvd
-hana kimi OST
-johnson's strawberry sensation.

I tell u, the song "cao xi huan ni" is super nice la!! " sha sha de yong qi" BEST la!! It is a must hear la=)

37 days MORE-


a hundredandeighty pages of appendix?

fifty pages of report?

a total of twohundredsandthirty pages?

within a month?

shouldn't it be a book?

is it a report?

i am so proud of myself and my fellow group mates.

well done people.

NOW who is going to pay for the printing and binding?


WOOOOO` addicted to the songs from the album hana kimi OST. wooooot- SUPER nice n meaningful man. Chionged through the dvd trice. I intend to chiong again today. Lala~ Obsessed. Heck ar!!

Allow me to drown in my fantasy. LOL`


oh. do read paulina's blog to find out how crazy F&B is. she can really describe it better cause i am still very much affected by the bloody virus.

bye. and good luck to paulina too (:

i really can die and i never expect it would be so miserable to study in poly.

HELL to those who say poly is easy. try it yourself.


been long since i last blogged. was really busy everyday this week, barely had time to sleep....

had the greatest shock of my life on tuesday. my precious thumbdrive which consist of my poly sem 1 and 2 projects and assignments got infected by virus. i was having a short nap when i reach home around 6pm. at around 6.30pm, jasmine called me, crying, saying that seow hui and rena's thumbdrive info are all gone and she is afraid that it came from her laptop. blur and confused, i woke up and check using my com. true enough, my files and folders are all gone, not a single file can be seen. cried immediately, and no, it isn't a drama reaction. try having projects which you put in effort to complete for months and having econs proj due the next day and law proj due next wk.....

called seow hui and same as me, she cried like her life is going to end.. hahaha.. both of us decided to meet at 7pm to rush to Cityhall, so we can meet Jasmine who got a Mac laptop. before meeting seow hui, i ran to wanyan house to borrow her laptop to see if it is my thumbdrive problem or computer problem. no doubt, it is my thumbdrive's. anyway, all thanks to wanyan who is willing to borrow me her laptop.

after that, using Jasmine Mac laptop, we finally retrived our files. was quite embarrassing because we were panicking that time, 3 of us cried at Cityhall MRT station like someone died or sth.

and guess what. after that day, we went to sch com lab helpdesk to ask the IT person. they said it was a massive virus spread in sch. and we aren't informed? how irresponsible can that be? we pay like 2000 bucks every semester and thats the lousy system? we are already very unhappy with the fact that the business sch is over utilised, we business students have to walk all the way to engineering block for lectures just becauce our lecture theaters are occupied...

that's not the end. seow hui, my group member, actually got the virus 3 times within 6 days. yesterday we went to geylang, one of our group mate house to complete our F&B project. a group of six, we all got the virus. and cailing com got it too. was so embarrassed to trouble her and all of us went home at 8 plus. funny thing is that we are all so unlucky ytd, everything not going our way etc etc. my bus spoilt on my way to sch, so late for test. cailing also late for test. test was difficult cant finish. so we decided to buy 4D together, getting rena to buy for us. lol. hope we really win to make up for our whole team bad luck.

i am tired.. very tired.. went back to sch today to do project. tmr still got to wake up at 6 to go cheryl house for project discussion.. i am really dying now..

now some picture to take over my week..




It has been days since i last update. I guess, wy, pj n sh all busy preparing for exams. GIRLS, jiayou!!

Been busy the past few days. WOOOO~ wu zun DAMN shuai la. Can faint ok. LOL` His hand grip..FAINT* ok, i sound like an idiot. BUT, really, he is too handsome to b real. HAHAS.. i LOVE hana kimi. MUST watch lor. GIRLS, must catch the show lehs. Every mon-fri channel u, 7pm. It is telecasting on 15 feb. 1 day after v day. Hahas. Addicted to the show :( i did spend 2 nights to chiong finish 10 episodes. LOL` cant seem to get enough of it. Watched it twice. Intend to get my own dvd tml, so that i can watch again. This is the first show that i am SOOOOO insane abt. QUAN aka wu zun is too nice to be true. How i wish there is such guy in reality. BOO` mayb that is y i like the show- fantasy* Ella is pretty=D

Boss said i am creative. HAHA, i suppose i am talented. LOL` lalala.

i CANT wait till sch start. QUICK, time quick fly..

y CHUN n JIRO sooooooo shuai? Faint* i am their tou hao fan ar.

tell me that u wan me like i wan you-